The Council of Days

Council of Dads: Building a Legacy of Love

In his 2010 TED Talk, Bruce Feiler left a lasting impact on many. Titled “Council of Dads,” the talk is a poignant exploration of how Feiler, faced with a life-threatening cancer diagnosis, sought to ensure his twin daughters would grow up surrounded by wisdom, love, and guidance—even if he couldn’t be there.

A Childhood Accident and a New Threat

Feiler begins his story with a vivid recollection of a childhood accident that broke his left femur, an event that seemed merely a footnote in his life until a routine blood test decades later indicated something might be wrong with his bones. This discovery led to the devastating diagnosis of a rare and aggressive form of cancer, osteosarcoma, in the same leg he had injured as a child.

The Birth of the Council

Upon learning of his cancer, Feiler was overwhelmed with the fear of missing out on his daughters’ lives. He envisioned all the moments he might not be there for—the walks, the school projects, the life advice. From this fear, the idea of the “Council of Dads” was born. Feiler decided to reach out to six men from different parts of his life, asking them to be there for his daughters as they grew up, to offer the guidance and support he might not be able to provide.

Forming the Council

Feiler’s process of forming this council was deeply personal. He chose men who represented different aspects of his personality and life experiences. His friend Jeff Schumlin, for example, was asked to encourage his daughters to be adventurers and to embrace the world with curiosity and courage. Feiler’s literary agent, David Black, was chosen for his resilience and belief in overcoming obstacles.

Lessons for His Daughters

Each member of the council provided unique advice that Feiler compiled into a “psalm book of living.” These lessons included:

• Be a Traveler, Not a Tourist: Engage deeply with the world around you.

• Don’t See the Wall: Overcome obstacles with perseverance.

• Live the Questions: Embrace uncertainty and seek understanding.

• Harvest Miracles: Find wonder in everyday life.

A Journey of Healing and Community

Feiler’s journey through cancer treatment was grueling, involving months of chemotherapy and a complex surgery to replace his femur. Despite the physical and emotional toll, Feiler discovered a profound sense of community. People rallied around him, showing an outpouring of support and love that highlighted the power of human connection.

The Jubilee Year

Reflecting on his “lost year,” Feiler drew parallels to the biblical concept of the Jubilee Year, a time of rest and renewal. His year of battling cancer, though filled with pain and struggle, became a period of profound transformation and connection. It was a time to lay fallow and cultivate a healthier, more meaningful future with his family and friends.

A Message of Connection and Resilience

Feiler’s TED Talk is not just a personal story but a universal message about the importance of community, resilience, and living fully. He encourages everyone to reach out to old friends, embrace life’s challenges, and take time to slow down and appreciate the journey.

In Feiler’s words, “May you find an excuse to reach out to some long-lost pal, or to that college roommate, or to some person you may have turned away from. May you find a mud puddle to jump in someplace, or find a way to get over, around, or through any wall that stands between you and one of your dreams. And every now and then, find a friend, find a turtle, and take a long, slow walk.”

Bruce Feiler’s “Council of Dads” is a testament to the enduring power of love and the human spirit. It reminds us that even in our darkest moments, we can find light through the connections we nurture and the legacy we build for those we love.